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"He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge
over which he himself must pass."
over which he himself must pass."
~ Tom Eliff
One of the most heartless and overused cliches of our time is "Build a Bridge and Get Over It."
I say this based on the following observations:
First - Those who make the statement are usually not engaged in bridge building because they believe it's all the other person's responsibility. In fact, they are often responsible for the actions that make the rebuilding of a bridge that was already in place necessary. This is why it's heartless.
Second - People who need to build a bridge will do so -- as soon as they have accumulated the necessary materials -- and to loudly bellow across the gorge does nothing but frustrate the fire out of the parties who have been left stranded. Given time, EVERYONE WANTS TO MOVE ON! This is why it's overused.
If it could be left at that, this cliche would be nothing more than a harsh accusation against an aggressor and a comfortable defence for the alleged victim. Unfortunately, there is always more to the story.
We know from Scripture that we must forgive and with "great plainness of speech" we are informed that we don't wait for them to ask forgiveness before we forgive. Forgiveness is a proactive thing!
The good news is that every time we forgive, a board gets put on the framework of the bridge. And before you know it you've built the bridge... AND gotten over it!!
I say this based on the following observations:
First - Those who make the statement are usually not engaged in bridge building because they believe it's all the other person's responsibility. In fact, they are often responsible for the actions that make the rebuilding of a bridge that was already in place necessary. This is why it's heartless.
Second - People who need to build a bridge will do so -- as soon as they have accumulated the necessary materials -- and to loudly bellow across the gorge does nothing but frustrate the fire out of the parties who have been left stranded. Given time, EVERYONE WANTS TO MOVE ON! This is why it's overused.
If it could be left at that, this cliche would be nothing more than a harsh accusation against an aggressor and a comfortable defence for the alleged victim. Unfortunately, there is always more to the story.
We know from Scripture that we must forgive and with "great plainness of speech" we are informed that we don't wait for them to ask forgiveness before we forgive. Forgiveness is a proactive thing!
The good news is that every time we forgive, a board gets put on the framework of the bridge. And before you know it you've built the bridge... AND gotten over it!!
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